Blonde Joke

GameHouse Forums > The Lounge

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

‘What does it look like?’ she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has your picture on it.’

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. ‘Here it is,’ she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, ‘OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop.’

Posted on Tue Mar 16 09:30:24 PDT 2010

I like that !! Good one !!

Posted on Tue Mar 16 11:50:48 PDT 2010

not a blond joke ..but a funny one nevertheless

A guy walks into a barbershop and asks how long the wait is for a haircut. " 2 hours as we're really busy " replied the barber. The guy left. A month later the same man asked the same question and the barber responded " an hour and a half, busy in here today" The man left. A few weeks later the same occured and the man got the same reply and left. The barber asked one of his friends in the shop to follow the man thinking he was going to some other barber and getting fast service. THe friend, Bob, returned a few minutes later laughing uncontrollably. When asked by the barber where the stranger ended up, Bob with tears in his eyes said " your house"

Posted on Tue Mar 16 13:48:17 PDT 2010

Omgosh, Poppa... lol. I sure hope that barber put his razor down real quick...

And room, that was a good 'un.

Posted on Tue Mar 16 14:30:52 PDT 2010

were you talking about my little blond cheerleader here? Poppa, you bad, bad, boy! Oh heck I liked it, {wink, wink}.

Posted on Tue Mar 16 16:02:38 PDT 2010

Posted on Tue Mar 16 17:09:59 PDT 2010

Posted on Tue Mar 16 18:06:29 PDT 2010

A blind guy walks into a bar and orders a drink, when served he ask's the bartender, 'Want to hear a blonde joke'? There's a noise beside him followed by a voice stateing, I am 6'3", 5th degree black belt karate and blonde. The person on the other side of you is 6' 1" jujitsu kick boxer and blonde. Her partner is a 6' 2" 275 pound weight lifter and blonde. The person behind you is 6' 250 pound tia kwon do street fighter and blode. And the bartender is a 6' 4" former Marine mattial arts instructor and blode. So, are you sure you want to tell that blonde joke? The blind guy thinks for a moment and says; Well if I have to explain it 5 times, forget it.

Posted on Tue Mar 16 19:30:29 PDT 2010

Room333 wrote: A blind guy walks into a bar and orders a drink, when served he ask's the bartender, 'Want to hear a blonde joke'? There's a noise beside him followed by a voice stateing, I am 6'3", 5th degree black belt karate and blonde. The person on the other side of you is 6' 1" jujitsu kick boxer and blonde. Her partner is a 6' 2" 275 pound weight lifter and blonde. The person behind you is 6' 250 pound tia kwon do street fighter and blode. And the bartender is a 6' 4" former Marine mattial arts instructor and blode. So, are you sure you want to tell that blonde joke? The blind guy thinks for a moment and says; Well if I have to explain it 5 times, forget it.

Posted on Tue Mar 16 19:39:50 PDT 2010

thisistrue wrote:

Room333 wrote: A blind guy walks into a bar and orders a drink, when served he ask's the bartender, 'Want to hear a blonde joke'? There's a noise beside him followed by a voice stateing, I am 6'3", 5th degree black belt karate and blonde. The person on the other side of you is 6' 1" jujitsu kick boxer and blonde. Her partner is a 6' 2" 275 pound weight lifter and blonde. The person behind you is 6' 250 pound tia kwon do street fighter and blode. And the bartender is a 6' 4" former Marine mattial arts instructor and blode. So, are you sure you want to tell that blonde joke? The blind guy thinks for a moment and says; Well if I have to explain it 5 times, forget it.

Posted on Wed Mar 17 00:00:38 PDT 2010

A blonde tried to use her husbands razor to see if it gave a closer shave to her legs. By the time she was done she had cuts all over her legs. Trying not to wake her husband she got out the box of bandaids and covered all the cuts on her legs then slipped beside her husband and went to sleep. The next morning her husband woke her and said, "were you using my razor again"? "Yes," the blond said, how did you know? Her husband replied, " I figured as much when I saw all those bandaids stuck to the mirror"!

Posted on Wed Mar 17 06:03:16 PDT 2010

candylv wrote: A blonde tried to use her husbands razor to see if it gave a closer shave to her legs. By the time she was done she had cuts all over her legs. Trying not to wake her husband she got out the box of bandaids and covered all the cuts on her legs then slipped beside her husband and went to sleep. The next morning her husband woke her and said, "were you using my razor again"? "Yes," the blond said, how did you know? Her husband replied, " I figured as much when I saw all those bandaids stuck to the mirror"!

Posted on Wed Mar 17 10:04:18 PDT 2010

lol, true, is the line of smilys, I don't get it- I still don't get it-ooooooooh yea- and finally funny?

Posted on Wed Mar 17 11:46:55 PDT 2010

A young blonde women, Sue, down on her luck who just lost her job and knowing that the bills were right around the cornor was brought to her knees and prayed "Lord, please let me win the lottery so I can pay my bills" She checked the paper the following day and her name did not appear. With no job in sight the next week she prayed again, "Lord, please, please let me win the lotto this week so I can eat and pay rent." But she still did not win. Another week goes by without an income so she prays once more, "Dear Lord, please oh please send a win fall my way." All of a sudden she heard a crash and saw a bright light and a voice from up above said "Sue, meet me half way on this one. Go out and buy a ticket."

Posted on Wed Mar 17 18:47:33 PDT 2010

Room333 wrote: A young blonde women, Sue, down on her luck who just lost her job and knowing that the bills were right around the cornor was brought to her knees and prayed "Lord, please let me win the lottery so I can pay my bills" She checked the paper the following day and her name did not appear. With no job in sight the next week she prayed again, "Lord, please, please let me win the lotto this week so I can eat and pay rent." But she still did not win. Another week goes by without an income so she prays once more, "Dear Lord, please oh please send a win fall my way." All of a sudden she heard a crash and saw a bright light and a voice from up above said "Sue, meet me half way on this one. Go out and buy a ticket."

Posted on Wed Mar 17 19:16:25 PDT 2010

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead all died in a car crash and went to heaven at the same time.
They arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them they must pass a laughter test to get by, if they fail they get sent to the other place.
The object was to climb 100 stairs without laughing. Each step had it's own joke.
The brunette goes first and laughs at the 46th step.
Then the redhead's turn and she laughs at the 77th stair.
The blonde makes it all the way to the 100th step, when all of a sudden she bursts out in laughter.
St. Peter asks "What happened, Why are you laughing now?"
The blonde responded, "I just got the first joke!"

Posted on Sat Mar 20 13:46:44 PDT 2010

Posted on Sun Mar 21 11:01:46 PDT 2010

80,000 blondes meet for a Blondes Are Not Stupid Convention. The leader says, We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid.
The leader asks a volunteer a question, What is 15 plus 15? After 20 seconds she says, Eighteen. Everyone is a little disappointed. Then the blondes start cheering, Give her another chance! The leader says, Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting you in one place and we have the world wide press, I guess we can give her another chance. So he asks, What is 5 plus 5? After nearly 30 seconds she says, Ninety?
The leader is perplexed, the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell, GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!
The leader, says, Ok! Just one more chance, What is 2 plus 2?
The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute says, Four?

Throughout the stadium, all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream...

GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!

Posted on Thu Apr 08 17:27:01 PDT 2010

I'd say more but I'm laughing too hard

Posted on Thu Apr 08 17:44:25 PDT 2010

A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other buildings it could not be imploded and had to be dismantled floor by floor.

While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found a skeleton in a small closet behind the elevator shaft. They decided that they should call the police.

When the police arrived they directed them to the closet and showed them the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright. They said, This could be Jimmy Hoffa or somebody really important.

Two days went by and the construction workers couldn't stand it any more; they had to know who they had found. They called the police and said, We are the two guys who found the skeleton in the closet and we want to know if it was Jimmy Hoffa or somebody important.
The police said,It's not Jimmy Hoffa, but it was somebody kind of important.

Well, who was it?

The 1956 Blonde National Hide-and-Seek Champion.

Posted on Thu Apr 08 18:42:29 PDT 2010

Posted on Thu Apr 08 19:04:03 PDT 2010

Three people were decussing accomplishments, there was an American, a Russian and a Blonde. The Russian said we were the first to go into outer space. The American said yes but we were the first to go to the moon. The Blonde churped in to say but we will be the first to go to the sun. The American and Russian both replied how in the world can you do that? You will burn up before you get there. the Blonde answered, well we are not the dumb you know we plan on going at night!

Posted on Tue Apr 13 17:33:29 PDT 2010

A strawberry blonde was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat which was hiding in the grass.

She rushed her cat, along with the tail, over to WAL-MART!

Why WAL-MART??

HELLOOOOOOOOO!

WALMART is the largest re-tailer in the world!!!

Posted on Fri Apr 23 04:59:40 PDT 2010